12/12/25
The abyss is so warm
with no one to make it cold
i am god again
licking the inside of a star
and it tastes like your mouth;
sweat, honey
suckle on my silver tongue
these ain’t sticks and stones
anything alive with spine
gets built on bones
cuss all you want
it can’t hurt
11/18/24
i ache and hunger
gone too long from nourishment
i am feral with desire
almost a haiku
i love you
just cant help the foolishness
in trusting the real real
rather be lost in the sea than safe in harbor
that is not what ships are built for, they say
bodies built for stargazing and choppy waters
deep dives breath-held discoveries
just can’t help following the red thread
its not a noose its a net i wriggle through
we writhe out of
the thing that catches/holds/restricts
open ocean
open mouth
salty sullen
such a big blue
to find oneself lonely in
going fishing
see what we find
8/6/24
when you are gone a long time
it is easy to forget
hair grows longer, memory shaggy and unfamiliar
moss and lichen hungrily reclaim the space the open space left behind
covering up
all traces
of disturbance
7/22/24
there is a kind of love like a deer is loved by a hunter, trailing blood on the snow like devotion as the dance of cruelty and evasion. do you let yourself be loved hung on the wall or longed for as the one that got away.
day 7/7/24 i had a beautiful thought and nearly lost it, it flowed down the river and only now i cup my hands back into the water and catch what remains, something about how i keep dreaming of travelling by bus, somewhere far away, i lean my head against the window like i did on the way to school. i remember how i learned i could focus and unfocus my eyes, making the smudges on the window crisp foreground or a blur over the moving landscape. i am thinking about the ways i have forgotten how to do this in life, how somewhere along the way i got caught up in the scenery and only now
only now do i let my eyes refocus on the foreground and god, this window is so murky and maybe im due to get off the bus, maybe this is the end of the line
maybe i’ve taken this as far as it goes
DAY 25/06-24 things are truly better when they are shiny-slick, glossy and imperfectly finished, complete! it is not a trick, really, it is ok to let what has been created be seen for what it is. the perfection is not in some other state, some previous form!
whatever you think should be is not better than what is
Day 24/06/2024 when reality ruptures you have to find something new to anchor into. what was imagined is only refuge in wasteland, is useless when you want to find yourself landed in paradise. you have to think of something better to take the place of what’s taken place. truth cannot be stolen, only manipulated, they cant steal an idea, just make you forget how good it was, you give it up because something like shame snakes into your heart and makes love of wilderness foolish, dangerous. The solution to fear of freedom isnt to let yourself be tamed, ever.